


I’ll take care of you

by raincallsx



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Gallifrey, Hurt/Comfort, I make up lore for 7k words straight, Kissing, Lots of Angst, Meddling TARDIS, Multi, Post season 12 finale, Retrospective, i ignore that scene from spyfall bc its gross, mentions of the timeless child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23455942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincallsx/pseuds/raincallsx
Summary: The Doctor reflects on what once was, and what could be again after making their most recent trip to Gallifrey. The Master was the only sense of consistency they had ever known. The Doctor had come to accept this.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), The Doctor | Theta Sigma/The Master | Koschei (Doctor Who: Academy Era), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/ The Master (Dhawan), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	I’ll take care of you

**Author's Note:**

> for my writing buddy and my favorite star

He had always been there for her, almost as far back as she could remember. That is to say, what she remembered of her previous lives. Her lives as Theta Sigma. He had been there for her since the day they met, clueless children at the young age of 7. 

  
  
  
  


He had been there when she was a young man, bright eyed and still quite awkward. Lithe frame with dangling limbs that made him just uncoordinated enough. When he had sandy blonde hair then, much like her hair now. Her eyes had been blue, nose pointier, jaw more defined. A stranger to many social constructs not of their own planet. A little boy from a family that cared so little for him. The man she had been when they had met had never experienced the wonders the universe had to offer. He had read of them, studied galaxies ever so carefully in hopes of one day seeing them all for himself up close and in person. The images swirled around his head in glorious Reds and greens and blues and purples and colours for which the universe had no name. 

He had been reluctant to go to the academy. His parents forced him there, forced him into becoming a time lord. 

Theta hadn’t wanted to just sit back and do nothing, still didn’t. He had always been an explorer; mapping out the forest and lake near his house at a very young age. He climbed rock walls, ran over fields, learned to swim all on his own whilst exploring the beautiful Gallifreyan countryside. In the end, that's how he had met Koschei- exploring. 

Koschei had been more thin then, gangly in stature. Dark hair, and even darker eyes- not in a bad way, not yet. A spattering of freckles across his skin was a little unusual for a Gallifreyan, but they fit him well. Theta had bumped into him on their journey to the Academy. 

Koschei had introduced himself first. He always had been the outgoing one of the pair. He was quick to tell his chosen name and informed Theta that he was from the province over. The pair made fast friends. 

\---

When they had both gazed into the Untempered Schism, they had been the only ones there for eachother in the midst of the fall out. 

Theta couldn't recount the amount of nights he spent pressed up close to his friend in the same bed, just holding fast as Koschei cried.

He had explained his experience to Theta as such; he felt that all of time and space, all the was, all that could have been, all that was, and that which would be was jam packed into his skull and was trying to push its way out in a constant and neverending count of one-two-three-four.

Theta spent long nights reading up on mental barriers to teach him how to muffle the sounds emanating from deep in his friends head.

\---

They were two sides of the same coin. Theta embodied introversion and the need to explore, while Koschei had loud remarks and impeccable marks in class. Thats not to say that Theta had been stupid- far from it. The boy just felt it impossible to concentrate on boring Time Lord work where there were whole galaxies that needed exploring. Koschei would reprimand him for that when he was trying to study in their shared dormitory when the other boy would be trying to get him to run off instead of studying. 

There were, of course, nights when Koschei caved in. Wonderful nights when they would sneak out of the Academy. The best night had been the third night they had ventured out. 

Theta had grabbed his best friend’s hand and they ran like their lives depended on it. Travelling through empty streets between shadows and around corners. When they got to the edge of town, they made a game of dashing through fields of tall, deep red grass. They went, laughing all the way, hopping over rocks and climbing trees. 

When they got far enough (but not too far), they would lay down in the warm grass and look up to the sprawling skies above them. Stars littered the skies like little kisses sent from the universe itself, proclaiming her love for all the space she took up. Theta had spent countless hours pointing out certain stars and telling his friend about all of them. On this night, however, he remained more quiet than normal. 

“What are you thinking about?” Came Koschei’s soft voice from beside him. 

Theta paused in his thoughts a moment. “I’m trying to think of how long it would take to visit all the stars we can see…. if I’m right I'd venture about 1,432 years.”

“That's a long time to adventure on your own.”

“Well I wouldn't be alone. You’d be there,” he murmured, turning his head to gaze at his friend. He smiled, Koschei smiled back. 

“You’d really want me to come exploring with you?”

“Of course ‘Chei.”

A silence fell between them as a gentle night breeze ran along the tops of the grass, ruffling their hair and making their clothes ripple. 

Theta opened his mouth to speak once more, but the soft sound of the starting of a word was muffled by Koschei propping himself up on one elbow, leaning over, and kissing Theta. It was a split second decision, lips pressed together with an uncharacteristic clumsiness for Koschei. He steadied the other boy’s head with a gentle hand pressed to his cheek. 

Theta pulled away after a moment, a light blush covering the tops of his high cheekbones. 

“Kos-“

“I’m sorry-“ they had both started. 

Koschei sighed and flopped down onto his back once more. “I’m Sorry Theta I didn't mean it’s just..”

“Just what?”

“You’re the best person I've ever met.”

Theta faltered a moment. His best friend, his biggest crush, the person he most wanted to be like, had just kissed him.

“I like you too, by the way,” he ventured after a moment. 

Koschei smiled, a great big smile that lit up his face as the stars lit the sky. “That's good. Really good actually… can I kiss you again?”

“Yeah. I'd like that.” 

Koschei leaned over, tentatively exploring Theta’s mouth. His hands gently smoothed over tanned arms and a linen covered chest. Theta’s one arm was draped over the other’s shoulder, and had twisted the other up in his hair. It was a gesture of simple adoration, because that's the only way to describe the near reverence Koschei paid to Theta. 

They didn’t really know what they were doing. They did what their bodies told them to, trying to recall the vague semblance of sex education they had received years ago now. Koschei carefully peeled back layers of his friend’s clothing. Theta reciprocated the actions. Neither of them were in any rush. 

When Koschei finally pushed into Theta, he knew right then that the boy beneath his fingertips would become the undoing of him. They were both gentle with each other at first, but that sentiment slowly unraveled into a desperate needy pace. Long limbs twisted. Bony hips dragged against each other. Short puffs of hot breath escaped their lips almost as often as the soft groans of pleasure did. Fingers grabbed and twisted, and it was perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

The feelings weren’t just physical either. Psychic barriers between two young Time Lords in training were weak and easily overcome, especially when the two bodies were flush against one another. They sent each other feelings and images of adoration and love. None of it was very clear- bursts of feelings and neither of them were quite sure what feelings were coming from where.

Their voices got carried away in the rustling of red grass and the gentle sway of the breeze.

Neither boy took long to come undone. A soft caress of hands down bare backs, a breathy laugh, a hum of appreciation as they came down was bubbling around them. Koschei kissed Theta once more, soft and gentle with swollen lips. 

They laid side by side, pressed close together with Theta’s jacket draped over them. Gazing at the stars, the boys pointed at where they wanted to start their journeys. Sindeon IV, Aristotle, and A1-7 were among their top choices.

Some time (and many soothing touches and kisses) later, the boys pulled their clothes back on and ventured back to the Academy hand in hand. They managed to sneak back in with little trouble, getting back into bed undetected. 

The pair had been inseparable from the night they met. This night, laid bare in front of the galaxies they wanted to see together, made them even closer. 

—-

Two years later, the boys still adored one another. Koschei tended to have a difficult time keeping their relationship a secret. He wanted his hands all over Theta some days. It wasn't his fault that his lover was so damned beautiful. 

They tried their best to keep their marks up, but Theta began to fall even further behind in his work. He was too busy trying to plan out just exactly how they were going to see the universe. 

They were in their mid-60s now. This was the human equivalent of being in your late teens to early twenties. At this point in most Gallifreyan’s lives they would make wreckless choices and do just about whatever they wanted for the thrill of it. 

The first planet they saw together was on a class trip. Koschei, Theta, and about ten other students in their year at the Academy made a trip to Pontheus, a neighbouring planet stuffed to the brim with marketplace stalls. 

_ Koschei, look at this! Mandolian dearfruit! _

_ Id look if you didn’t keep running off when my backs turned,  _ replied the teasing voice in his head

Learning to communicate telepathically was one of the best things the pair had done. It was quite advanced for two young Time Lords in training. They had to be careful, though. There was no telling when someone could push through their mental barriers if they had them open for too long. It would be strange for someone to invade a stranger’s head like that, but not completely unheard of.

The two wandered off from the pack, spending a few hours trying colourful fruits, picking out small trinkets to bring back with them, and fooling around with one another. They shared hot pastries and cold drinks with each other as they walked through the market. It was bustling and loud and they absolutely adored every second of it.

They made it back to the group with  _ plenty  _ of time. Koschei didn’t understand the point of their instructor scolding them for running off. They had made it back, hadn't they?

Theta reflected the day's happenings as they flew back to Gallifrey. He deemed the day quite successful. He had even had a chance to buy a new set of Veruthian threads for Granny #5’s needlepoint. She was his favorite granny after all. He spent the rest of the ride back to the Academy studying a sleeping Koschei’s face as he had done so many times before. 

As he let out a sigh, he thought that life might just have something really good to offer if Koschei was by his side. Even if they were stuck at this ruddy school.

—-

Their time graduated into proper time lords had come. Decades of school work, learning countless amounts of unimportant things, and sneaking off during instruction periods were all winding up into line. Theta Sigma could barely believe that he had made it this far. He probably wouldn't have if it weren't for Koschei.

Titles were chosen, ceremonies performed, and only a little bit of schooling was left for the boys. 

Koschei had picked out his title long ago. It conveyed everything he wanted to see from himself, an echo of who he was and wanted to be. It was quite an easy choice when it came down to it. 

Theta, in true Theta fashion had not yet decided on the title he wanted to take on. The thought of what title he wanted rolled around in the back of his brain as he walked over to Koschei who was fiddling with his robes. Theta batted his hands away to clasp the hooks shut. His hands smoothed down the front of the robes carefully. 

“Maybe if you weren't so impatient,  _ Master,  _ it would be easier to do such menial tasks,” he teased before stealing a little kiss. 

-

Theta almost didn’t know what he was going to say when they asked him his title as they walked down the corridor with the other students. In fact, he really only decided when he was standing before the dais. When asked what he had chosen his name to be, he stepped forward with a little smile on his face. 

“Doctor.”

Koschei offered him a little smile. 

“Theta Sigma, you will be known from this day on as Lord Doctor.” Rang out the voice of the Lord President. 

Koschei couldn’t help but to be proud of himself and his friend, but deep within his head something had stirred. It was almost like the start of a headache. A dull thudding that grew louder if he began to dwell on it.  _ one-two-three-four _

Theta finally felt he was a part of something. 

  
  
  


...but nothing lasts forever. 

  
  
  


Not even Theta and Koschei. For decades they remained close, until one day they weren't. The Doctor had crossed the line one too many times and the Master had snapped. 

—-

Years passed on without so much as a word to one another. 

They both got married off as was proper. Each with a spouse now, children, grandchildren. The Doctor missed his old friend. He really did. Some days he was the only thing crossing his mind at all. He hadn’t fallen in love with his wife. It was a political marriage. Most of his new found family spent their time with his wife, all except a few of his grandchildren. He would rather it be that way. He wasn't one for the blase smalltalk of fellow Gallifreyans. He much preferred reading on his own, reading and reading until one day a semblance of an idea began to form in his head.

After months of planning, the Time Lord finally figured out how to accomplish his goal: steal a type forty flying machine, run away with his best friend, live the life they always wanted. 

It hadn't been that hard. Nobody really expected an old flying machine to be stolen. He had done decent enough in his flying classes to work with the old girl. With a few lever pulls and switches flipped and buttons pressed, he was off. The Doctor hadn’t smiled this madly in years. The machine rematerialised in front of the Masters house. The Doctor ran out from the Machine, knocking sharply on the door. 

He grinned as the door opened. “Hello, old friend.”

“Doctor?” The Master finally murmured. “What are you doing here?”

“Well…” The Doctor scratched the back of his neck, “Look, I know it's been a long while Master, and-“

“One hundred Thirty two years.”

“Right. One hundred thirty two… The reason I came to see you, I wanted to make it up to you. All those things I said to you all those years ago. I was a kid. This stupid kid who didn’t ever know what to say, or when to say it.” The Doctor sighed. “But I want to make it right. I miss my friend.”

The Master looked at him skeptically, his body leaning against the doorframe. “What did you do?”

The Doctor gave a sheepish smile before stepping out of the other man's gaze. In front of him stood a tall red tree in his front yard that most certainly had not been there earlier in the day. 

The Master couldn’t help but dart his eyes between the tree and the man on his front step. “You… You stole a type 40!? Are you insane?”

“Shh! Keep your voice down!” The Doctor winced a bit at his own volume. He took a deep breath and held out his hand as he had done so many times before. 

“Come with me.” His voice was soft, pleading, more gentle than he had used in years. The look behind his eyes was of a fondness that hadn’t ever been seen by anybody but the man before him. 

The Master hesitated, seconds dragging by like time itself had slowed. When he finally found his voice he said the only thing he could. “No.”

“I- what?”

“I said no, Doctor. You can't just leave. Stay, just please stay.”

“You promised. You promised we would see the stars together. Please I… i don’t want to do this without you. But I need to go. I need to get out of this awful place.” All of a sudden he was a young boy again, desperate for his friend to come along with him. “Please Koschei-“

“That's not my name!” He snapped. 

The Doctor inhaled slowly. “I… alright. But there's no way I’m staying here. I'm not staying on Gallifrey.”

It wasn't much of a surprise when the door slammed in his face. On the other side of the door, the Master let out a shaking breath. 

The Doctor slowly began walking toward his machine. He was caught off guard when he heard someone calling out to him. 

“Grandfather!”

The Doctors head whipped around to the line of trees a few metres away. He squinted, trying to make his eyes focus. There was a figure running towards him. A soft pile of black hair, red and while Gallifreyan street clothes (quite popular with the younger generations), and  _ oh.  _

Susan. His brilliant granddaughter. He was quite close to her for Time Lord standards. The Doctor was probably closer to her than anyone else in his family (even Granny #5). She was sweet, curious almost as intensely as he was, and so very clever for such a young girl.

“Grandfather, wait!” The feminine voice rang into his ears so sharply that he stopped in his tracks. 

“Susan? Susan my dear what in Rassilon’s name are you doing here?” chided the man, but there was very little disdain in his voice. 

“Oh Grandfather, I didn’t want you to leave.” She explained away quickly at the moment she stopped in front of him. “Not without me. Please, please take me away with you. You always told me of the stars and planets there were to see out there. The  _ people.  _ I want to see it all. I don’t want to finish at the Academy. I want to see the stars!”

Susan was practically vibrating, yet it couldn’t be determined to be caused by excitement or anxiety. 

The Doctor considered her words for a moment. She reminded himself of what he wanted when he was her age (when Koschei and he walked hand in hand across fields and forests). He had the same glint in his eye that she had now when he told her those stories. He knew there was no way on Gallifrey that he could say no. 

“Are you sure, child? You just want to run away from it all? There's no telling when we may return if we return at all,” he pointed out in a gentle voice. 

“Yes. Yes I am absolutely sure, Grandfather.”

“Alright then, come along before somebody takes notice of our absence.”

The pair scurried into the type 40 and shut the doors. They were gone with the breeze. 

  
  


—-

The years passed by in quick succession. Susan had only been with him for a short while in the TARDIS (time and relative dimension in space as she coined the machine) before she was left behind. 

The Doctor made friends. Countless friends, and even a few who were more than that. Some human, some alien, some robot. Taking people to see the universe, and saving others in the process is what he became well known for. 

In the approximate half millenia he spent with his companions, he made thousands of perfect memories. Laughs, victories, awe, and love (so, so, so very much love mostly in a platonic way, but on the occasion in the real way) dusted his travels. 

He never could shake the Master, though. They followed one another through time, space, and every place in between. It had become sort of a best enemies kind of deal. One was always trying to outsmart the other. It was like a dance- never ending, though slightly beautiful in its horror. 

There was actual dancing too. The only times that they weren't trying to undermine the other was usually when one had the other pinned against the wall, or a broom cupboard, or occasionally against the TARDIS console. The ember never really went out. They were the only ones left who understood who the other truly was. They were both thousands of years old now. Hate sex was a given. 

The Doctor had many loves (spoken or unspoken) in his time. A few had made him almost forget what he had with the Master. 

Rose Tyler was a standout. Brilliant she was. She had a fire in her that made him feel alive. She was a beautiful soul in and out. She made him want to live again after the Time War. She taught him how to laugh again, how to  _ love and be loved  _ again. Despite the fact that she had only been a blip on his timeline, he had never really forgotten her. 

Sarah Jane Smith stood out as well. A real spitfire, that one. Smarter than was good for her. Funny all around. She was one of the most beautiful people he had ever met. He had left her, all too suddenly for her liking, but the thing about Sarah Jane was that you never really got rid of her. The Doctor had seen her so many times even after he left her but it never felt like enough. Just being around her was like being embraced. 

River Song was another stand out. She was his wife after all (well, one of them. He got into a lot of accidental weddings somehow the master being the other half in a good handful of them). She was  _ clever.  _ She understood him so very well, always anticipating the next move he made. He enjoyed the consistency while it lasted, but sadly two time travelers in a relationship never ended well. 

Yasmine Khan could have been a great love, but the Doctor wouldn't let her get close enough. She had been hurt one too many times to make that mistake again (even if keeping everyone at arm's length broke her heart). 

The only one who never left her was the Master. Here he was, back again. Really, he had been there for a while as O, someone she had told all too much for being a stranger, but it was safer that way. When O revealed himself to be the Master all along a part of her heart broke a little bit more. 

A part that she didn’t even remember she had. 

—-

After he had revealed himself, the Master disappeared. The Doctor couldn't lie, she spent weeks- months even- searching. Searching for him. For Gallifrey. For… bloody  _ something.  _

She found Gallifrey first. Stepping out of her TARDIS only showed her one thing. Her home planet had been decimated. The twin suns seemed dull ( _ holding hands and jumping into the lake on a hot summer day _ ). An orange haze had settled around the whole planet. It was thick and so unbearably heavy ( _ crisp spring mornings weaving through town, pulling each other into the alley, kissing one another against walls in the shadows).  _ There was no red grass or trees to be seen ( _ climbing up, losing footing, a hand pulling the boy up).  _ The city surrounding the citadel decimated in smoking ruins ( _ kissing on rotation day under pale moonlight, a new eon beginning with them together).  _ Her home was rubble and ash. She didn’t notice the tears escaping, and ran down her cheeks until she had stumbled backwards into the TARDIS and slammed the door. 

A swirl of pain hit her deep in her chest. Home, gone, Master, death, destruction, fear, what had once been… it all hit her at once. She hated him, she really did. She hated what he had done, how he had hurt her, how much she still  _ loved  _ him. 

She crumpled to her knees, breathing quick and shallow. She would only let herself hurt for a few moments, though. She was the Doctor. People needed her. She had business to attend to. 

Picking herself up, she trudged to the interface of the console. Letting out a deep sigh, her hand gripped one of the levers. She held it there, hesitant to pull it down. 

A soft humming noise emanated from the console. A sympathy from the Doctor’s second oldest friend that could do nothing except watch her thief grieve. 

The Doctor pulled the lever. She put her mask back on. It was time to see the Fam- take them on some grand adventure that would baffle them (and hopefully comfort her aching hearts for just a moment or two). 

Ryan, Graham, and Yaz were so curious, and that's why she enjoyed them so much. They offered her a support she had ever once asked for, but support that somewhere deep down she knew she was very badly carved and needed.

  
  


—-

The next time she had seen him was on Gallifrey. He had been right in the end; all she had known was a lie. They had been lied to. 

He was so cruel this time around. So impossibly mean. He was determined to stab her and twist the knife as many times as he possibly could. He did, too. He did everything in his power to show her that he was in change, that he had the high ground and he deserved to be there.

The thing was, he didn't have to tell her what she was. He could have teased her for the next few millennia just to watch her squirm. The momentary pain was a lot for her to take on. 

Her brain was pushed into sensory overload. The memories that had been plucked straight from her head rested on top of her mind like oil on water. Flashes of unfamiliar faces, beings, and sensations passed behind closed eyelids. The thought of every person she had been completely erased from her mind was jarring. 

_ I could have been so much more! _

The thing was, she was so much more. She was so much more than she ever thought possible. She had been wrong in saying that all those years ago. Now she felt as though she was too much. Too many things were happening for her at once

He may have had some sort of manic motivation, but the Doctor was tired. She was too old. Seen too much. She loved more than she thought she deserved. She had lost too much. 

Getting out of the matrix he had shoved her in was somehow exhausting, yet invigorating at the same time. It seemed to put events in order, or as ordered as she could possibly get them. She came out of it more resilient than ever. She wouldn’t let the Master win this time. 

Fighting her way off of the planet had been the easy part. The long, stumbling trek she had taken to her TARDIS had been much harder. There was too much time left to her own thoughts to think of the events of the day. No Fam to prattle on to. No Master to heckle. Nobody around for lightyears except herself and all the versions of her in her head, as well as the echoes of the people she was who she didn't remember.

Stumbling through her TARDIS doors was like a gasp for crisp fresh air after being submerged for too long.

“Hello, old friend. Good to see you safe”

A soft whirring noise welcomed her

“Yeah, I’ll be alright. Lots to think about. Lots To do today. Gotta go tell the Fam that i’m alive.”

She got a slightly agitated buzz in reply

“There's time for me to rest later I-”

She was cut off with a more persistent sound. The Doctor let out a breath.

“Alright, alright, but just a little kip. Then we’re going.”

  
  


\---

  
  


There was a sudden blip that woke the Doctor up from her place in bed. It was a rarity that she was ever there, but after such a mentally, emotionally, and physically draining afternoon it was quite needed. She faltered a moment, wondering why she had so suddenly woken up when she still felt like she had just eaten shit on concrete, but there the beep was again. 

She popped out of bed, vaguely wondering when she had changed before getting there. It took a moment for her mind to register the heap of red dirt and ash stained clothes and boots at the side of the bed. As she got up she avoided the pile and tugged the sleeves of her navy jumper back into place. As she made her way back to the console room she raked a hand through her hair in an attempt to tame it back into some semblance of order. 

Now for that beeping. Quite annoying that beeping was.

The console had lit up in a few places, but the Doctor first went to check on the main screen on the console. Upon further examination it was telling her something. A string of complex maths equations filled the screens save one place, wherein the bottom corner of the screen gave a timestamp and particular coordinates.

“Shh, shh, girl. What are you showing me? What's this for?”She asked as she gently stroked the edge of the control panel with her thumb. 

Her reply was an annoyed, yet persistent whirr.

“Come on, I’m not a mind reader! Well, that's a lie, but I still dont- oh. Oh, oh, oh,  _ oh.  _ Silly Doctor! Brilliant TARDIS! This could just work, yeah. If I were to just…” She ran around the console and began flipping switches and turning things about “Just a little extra oomf, and just a touch of hope, and we’re off!” She exclaimed as she pulled the final lever.

She scurried over to the screen and studied it curiously. Upon it displayed how exactly to save the Master. The exact time and place, and she couldnt be a second too early or too late. She had to be just out of earshot on her way to the spare TARDIS, and the button couldn't have been pushed yet. 

She marvelled at how the TARDIS had calculated the information without her even prompting it. Smart old girl she travelled with seemed. 

As the TARDIS rematerialised she held her breath. It should have been right on top of the Master in order to pull him into the TARDIS without opening the doors to the particle energy that would most certainly kill her.

A second ticked past, then two, and the Doctor had almost given up. That was, until she heard coaching from the other side of the room. She let out her breath.

“Heard you needed a rescue team.”

\---

The Time Lord rounded her console with wide strides (or as wide as her quite short legs would allow for), to find him lying face down on the floor.

“Get up.” Her voice was teetering on the point of being icy.

His hand came up against the floor beside his chest in order to get enough leverage to pull himself up. He rose slowly, seeming quite aggravated that he was in her presence. 

“Why am I here, Doctor?” he demanded

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, exasperated and shocked, “You were going to die?”

The Master looked down at her, glaring “And of course, Miss Perfect Doctor had to come save me. For what? To gloat? I’m perfectly fine without the oncoming speech about how much better you are than I am, and how I can be ‘good.’ Honestly this is getting quite tiring. I get the point by now. Nothing can break you because you're too  _ impressive  _ to be broken. Isn’t that right?”

“No that's not right at all. Master I-”

“Spare me, please Doctor. You're better off having left me to burn on Gallifrey.”

“How could I do that? How could I let my  _ best  _ friend die? Hm? You're the only thing I have left. The only person that can understand who i am and where I've been.”

“There's the small complication of  _ nobody  _ knowing who you really are, Doctor. Nobody knows who exactly you are, or what sorts of terrible things you’ve done, or where you’ve been,” He sneered.

“That doesn’t matter. I can't help who I was or what I did if I can't even remember it. People who live as long as we do, we change. We’re different people all the time, and that's okay! It happens. You're bound to change if you live this long. A few thousand years at least. That's the thing about you and I. We aren't quite the same as we were five minutes ago, let alone a few thousand years ago. While the Time Lords kept just exactly how long that is for me, it doesnt change the fact that I am still your childhood friend who doesn't want to see a world without you. All those memories of us happen to still mean something to me, even if you’ve chosen to forget our history. I won't. You’re the only constant I’ve ever had. I didnt ever mean to do what the timeless child- what I- did. It's not exactly easy news to hear. I have no idea who I am, none at all. You seem more upset about that than I am. You're so full of uncontrollable rage and chaos. I have lost everything I viewed as true, everything except you. So yes, I created the Time Lords. I am just so absolutely pleased with and fact. Also, I’m just so very sorry that the abuse and torture of me as a child is INCONVIENIANT for YOU.”

She hadn't been expecting the tirade, and seemingly neither did he. The silence that settled between them practically buzzed with electricity. The TARDIS was too quiet for her liking. She liked the background noise. She hated silence. It left the cacophony of conflicting memories, and voices of people she had been, and didn't know she had been, reverberate through her skull.

“That's why I did it,” he spoke softly enough.

She wasn't expecting that reply. She was expecting him to laugh and comment at how unhinged she was, or for him to just yell right back at her. She wasn't expecting a controlled response. 

“What?” She asked, voice low and quiet.

“That's why I did it. They hurt you, used you. They deserved to burn,” his voice was rough, as if he was restraining something, but she couldn't quite tell what.

“O-oh…” 

Her hand lifted up, ever so slow and calculated, to rest on his cheek. She was slightly surprised that he had let her do such a thing. She didn't know whether to sob, or to fall, or to just keep holding her head up high.

“Oh, Koschei..” she breathed

“Dont.” 

There was barely anything behind the word. No malice, no resentment. Maybe just a hint of fear. He didn't like being vulnerable. 

She understood at that moment why he had done it. A twisted sort of love letter. Revenge on her behalf because he knew that she would never do such a thing on her own. She didn't agree with what he had done, not in the least, but he had been trying to do right by her. 

“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a Time Lord. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and I know I’ve said it hundreds of times now, but I'll say it again. I’m sorry I left you behind. I’m sorry for going somewhere that you couldn’t follow.” she murmured.

He softened in posture, the hard one of his shoulders sagging just a bit under the weight of the days happenings. 

“I was trying to be better, to be ‘good’ as you put it, or something near what you had tried to show me. When I found what the matrix was holding, I snapped. Old habits die hard. They deserved what they got for what they did to you,” he paused the, reluctant to continue. “It's not fair. None of it is near fair. They ruined your life, and set you up as their whipping boy. Every problem was your fault. They made you run, and I was too scared to follow for too long.” He explained, voice low.

She pulled him into a hug, then. Letting her walls be knocked down all over again. Maybe she would regret his later on, she probably would. The Doctor was opening herself up to get hurt. 

He reciprocated, bending down to lay his head against hers. One of his hands splayed across her lower back while the other looped around her to rest on her shoulder. He vaguely thought it strange how much smaller she was than him for once. It had almost always been the other way around. The hug lingered for seconds, minutes, or maybe hours.

She smelled warm. Like citrus, earl grey tea, and the innate scent that came along with travelling through the time vortex.

It was right as she was pulling away from the hug that he caught a good look at her face. She was about to say something, but he cut her off by pressing his lips to her in a kiss that conveyed all he thought mattered. He was guilty, he was sorry, and most importantly he loved her.

His lips tasted like they always did. She had always loved kissing him. It was as close as they could ever be, especially early on when she had been rubbish as telepathy. He tasted of spice and the sweet apple like fruits they would harvest as children, and like coming home after a tiring day. 

There was nothing forced about the kiss, not like there had been so many times before. It was gentle and calculating as if he thought he was pushing it too far and was ready for her to push him off at any second. She didn’t though. Her lips moved against his as long as it took for her respiratory bypass to finally scream at her for air. She pulled away from him, a gentle smile pulling up the corners of her lips.

His eyes drank her in. The dim lighting of the TARDIS cast shadows across her face. Her hair reflected the light, too. She was at war with herself, he could see it behind her eyes. He would be there for her, as long as it took. That's what he decided at that moment.

_ I’ll take care of you. _

She didn’t deserve anything good, she thought to herself. She had created one of the worst races ever to cross this universe. Her simple being had caused so many others pain. She didn't even really know who she was. Conflict raged on in her head, and she wanted it out more badly than she had ever wanted anything before. Maybe she could show him the Duofenium system… that was far away from here, from the ashes of their burnt homeworld outside of those wooden doors.

_ It’s rotten work. _

He let her take his hand, and he squeezed it reassuringly. He followed as she tugged him over to the console. She began blabbering on about how she had someplace to show him, some pointless adventure he supposed. She began running around the console as she always did. She pushed buttons, turned a dial or two, flipped levers, until the TARDIS began to move. He would indulge her this time, if only to let her mind dwell on something that wasn't Gallifrey.

_ Not to me. Not if it’s you. _

  
  


\---

They had been a twin helix, ebbing and flowing into and around each other, sometimes unable to tell where one ended and one began. They always had been, and maybe they always would be.

He would pull too far into the dark where she couldn follow, and he would let her take his hand and pull him back.

She would get too unhinged at times. A ball of nervous energy constantly rattling on like a bouncing ball, and he would steady her- give er something to hold onto to bring her back to the moment.

Sometimes, they were the Doctor and the Master. Cold and distant to one another, snarling insults back and forth as they tried to undo what the other had spent time building up ever so carefully (or haphazardly, it depended on the decade honestly).

But now, they were something better than that. Once every few centuries, when the wind blew right, the stars aligned, and the moons were at just the right angle against one another, they could be Theta and Koschei once more.

They could be the two best of friends that they always had been, traipsing across the stars as they had planned so long ago now. Maybe it would last this time. Maybe it wouldn't. Just as the universe was ever changing with new stars and planets and systems being created every second, so were they. Two friends who were all the other had ever been able to hold dear. Now, they were the last of their kind, off to see the rest of the universe that they hadn’t seen yet.

They were good at keeping each other balanced. Adventure with a touch of danger. The beauty in just a little bit of chaos.

The beauty they found in one another.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Quote and title taken from Euripides, from Orestes.
> 
> Excuse my lack of academy era/gallifrey knowledge, all I’m here for is these lovestruck dumbasses.


End file.
